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Uncle Luigi's World Renown Horoscopes
Uncle Luigi's Horoscopes

aries- beware of the peanut, for if you choke on it......

taurus- beware of shiny objects and bright lights.

gemini- i detect readings from the seventh house. Stay away from store bought peaches.

cancer- The roads ahead look dangerous. Remember to look both ways.

leo- Stay away from romantic activities or you will fall victim to dandruff and locust invasions.

virgo- Fear the white lion, for he lies in shadow.

libra- The whale and tortoise will give way to better things.

scorpio- Forget not about the roses -- but stray not so far from cattle.

saggitarius- The scholar will call and you may answer the summons.

capricorn- Bicycles and tobacco pose hazard, so keep a sharp mind.

aquarius- The water animals call Luke.... Luke..... i am your father so watch out for this "Luke"

pisces- The rodeo clown has a fondness for pie so bring some not to the car show.